Eye contact. Just as important as a warm smile is eye contact. Engage people by looking into their eyes as you meet them, listen and converse. Of course, it’s open eyes with a smile and a nod (as opposed to a cold stare)!

Ask open-ended questions. When it comes to making good impressions, it’s not about you. Show genuine interest. Ask open-ended questions that begin with who, what, where, when and why. Avoid closed-ended questions that can be answered with a yes or no (i.e., questions that begin with “Are you …” and “Have you …”).

Stand tall with your hands to your sides. Healthy, confident and relaxed people tend to stand tall and display good posture. Avoid crossing your arms or holding your hands. Instead, let your arms and hands rest naturally at your sides. You’ll come across more friendly and relaxed.

Lower volume is better. A lower tone of voice tends to be received as warmer and friendlier. Loudness can cause discomfort and/or distrust.

Slow the pace; eliminate filler words. Filler words are words such as um, ah, well, you know and I don’t know. Although they are extremely common, they communicate uncertainty, nervousness and even lack of intellect. Slow down your rate of speech, take your time and cut out the filler words.

Make short statements, then wait for a response. We’re all turned off by run-on talkers. Don’t do it yourself. Make short, clear statements, or ask brief questions, and wait for the response with interest.

Say hello and extend your handshake. Why do politicians smile, say hello and shake a lot of hands? Because it makes a good impression and builds relationships. You should do it, too.

Be well-dressed and well-groomed. OK, this may sound like Wally Cleaver from Leave It to Beaver, but people judge books by their covers. Dress and groom as nicely as you can. The result, combined with the other tips herein, will ensure that your presence counts when you walk into a room.

Jana Christian provided her expertise for this article. You can reach her at miss_manners@sbcglobal.net.

Less Is More

Change is not easy. To succeed at change you need focus. So when you set goals, set just one big one. There will be plenty of action steps required to accomplish the goal. Just be sure your goal is a worthy one.

Now’s the time to set your goal for 2010. What will it be? What is the one thing you really want to accomplish?

Words from an Accomplished Man

Lou Holtz is known for keeping it simple. He’s also known for setting big goals and achieving them. For being born with little and accomplishing a lot. He says that to be a winner takes just three things:

Do right.

Do your best.

Treat others as you want to be treated.

He also says that if you want to be successful, all you have to do is:

Define exactly what success is for you.

Be persistent.

To be sure, 2010 is going to come and go. There will be 365 sunrises and sunsets. 252 official workdays. So what do you say we try to make the most of them? Make 2010 a year of real progress? Make sure that one year from now you’ve accomplished something exciting? Rewarding? Worthwhile? Breakthrough?

It’s up to you. It’s also in your hands. Either you dictate what 2010 will be or let it give you whatever it wishes. Either way, 12-31-2010 will be here before you know it.